Diane Poole Heller: Attachment Styles and Relationships

Having trouble navigating your relationships with others and healing from traumas in your life? Diane Poole Heller shares her expertise in child and adult attachment styles so you can begin to live a fuller, more loving life in this very connective Living 4D conversation.

Show Notes

• Diane wrestled with deeper questions — the differences between necessary and unnecessary suffering and the inhumanity of man — as a child. (8:22)
• The wound of self-love. (16:14)
• Secure attachment skills and styles. (25:08)
• Are you available for a repair attempt? (36:07)
• Humans are designed for secure attachments. (48:02)
• Avoidant, insecure, attachment adaptations. (52:00)
• Even people with avoidant attachment styles need and want to feel connections. (1:06:32)
• Having a transition ritual is important for avoidant attachment types. (1:14:08)
• Ambivalent attachment styles: Overfocused on relationships. (1:22:58)
• Facing some discomfort — hugging porcupines occasionally — helps you create better connections and more secure attachments. (1:34:12)
• One of our gifts — and challenges — in America is being very individualistic. (1:44:29)
• Disorganized, disoriented attachment adaptations and the possibility of avoidant and ambivalent extremes. (1:50:07)
• Healing emotional wounds can affect families seven generations backward and forward. (2:01:13)

Resources

• The development of attachment theory by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth
• The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships and Healing Your Attachment Wounds by Diane Poole Heller
• The work of Fritz Perls, George Gurdjieff, Bonnie Badenoch and Mark Wolynn
• The Welcome Home Exercise for Couples on YouTube
• Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment For Comprehensive Repair by Dr. Daniel Brown
• The Strange Situation on YouTube
• It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn