We all want to achieve an inspired and fulfilling life. To some, the first step to acquiring this status may involve saving money, getting a better job, landing that promotion, finding your life partner, having a baby, going back to school, traveling the world, or acquiring a spiritual practice. Indeed, any of these actions may help create a more balanced life, perhaps even a more meaningful one. But none of them alone hold the key to true fulfillment.
Until you determine your highest values, inspiration, and purpose, a completely inspired, fulfilling life is always escape you. Without determining your values, you're likely to follow someone else's values - those of your parents, mentors, supervisor, or partner. Nothing else is a better recipe for frustration: the occupation that never brings satisfaction, the relationship that has plateaued, the vague sense of hopelessness.
Until you determine your highest values, inspiration, and purpose, a completely inspired, fulfilling life is always escape you. Without determining your values, you're likely to follow someone else's values - those of your parents, mentors, supervisor, or partner. Nothing else is a better recipe for frustration: the occupation that never brings satisfaction, the relationship that has plateaued, the vague sense of hopelessness.
"Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure."
Tony Robbins
Until you become aware that you are living according to your highest
values, you are not able to experience the full rewards of your daily
efforts. Values are the key that opens the door that allows us to define
and accomplish goals. Values inform us of opportunities we might have
otherwise missed, and they permit us to unlock our physical, mental, and
spiritual powers. Partial awareness of values may cause you to overlook
many opportunities while blocking your unlimited potential.
Determining your highest values is one of the most important actions you can ever take. This is they key to living an inspired life. If you love what you do, you will never have to work a day in your life. You will be able to find the partner that you seek to cultivate the intimate relationship that you wish to be apart of. You will be able to activate your inner genius, obtain financial security, expand your influence, and thrive. You will be able to fulfill your purpose on earth. Determining your highest values and using them to accomplish your life goals is the key to transforming an unfulfilled life into a life of inspiration
Determining your highest values is one of the most important actions you can ever take. This is they key to living an inspired life. If you love what you do, you will never have to work a day in your life. You will be able to find the partner that you seek to cultivate the intimate relationship that you wish to be apart of. You will be able to activate your inner genius, obtain financial security, expand your influence, and thrive. You will be able to fulfill your purpose on earth. Determining your highest values and using them to accomplish your life goals is the key to transforming an unfulfilled life into a life of inspiration
"Choose a job you love, and you will
never have to work a day in your life."
Confucius
Simply being aware of your highest values allows you to attain even greater personal and professional powers. Living by your values is one thing, but unless you acknowledge and are comfortable with them, you will be at odds with yourselves, unable to be fully honest or aware about who you really are and what you really want. Consequently, you will not be able to fully mobilize your powers to achieve your goals. Becoming aware of your values enables this mobilization, potentially bringing fulfillment is all areas of life. Those who are aware of their highest values have an advantage over others who don't because their self-awareness enables easier and quicker decision making, while inspiring them with energy and stamina to work endlessly towards their goals. Knowing your highest values enables you to align your life's actions with the things that mean the most to you. Being unaware of those values creates unnecessary difficulty when seeking to create a meaningful, fulfilling life.
Distinguishing values from social idealisms
Honesty, integrity, trust. Perhaps these are some words that come to mind when you think of values. In reality, these are probably not your own values, but rather social idealisms: socially acceptable ways of thinking and behaving. Social idealisms don't inherently reflect the true motivating force that shapes your reality. Social idealisms often only inspire halfhearted effort. Perhaps you are genuinely inspiring by these ideals, but they often reflect your ideas of how you should, ought to, or have to behave - not what you deeply value. Social idealisms can be easily recognized when they are presented as general statements and abstract categories. Social idealisms are learned from your parents, teachers, families, and cultures.
Conversely, true values distinctly represent you, your unique self. To some this may look life time spent with family, listening to music, playing sports, spending time with animals, or traveling the world. Your highest values may change throughout your life - as this is often the case - but they always represent your unique self: what you are attracted to, what you seek, what you live for. Values are an internal compass, directing you towards what fulfills you and away from what feels unfulfilling. Your highest values are the activities that truly nourish your deepest self.
Only you can define your values. Only you can look into your own mind, heart, and soul and unearth what is most important to you. Surely you may find similarities between yours and others values. But usually there are nuances that distinguish your values from others. One person's values will never be quite like someone else's. If you did have the exact same values, you will be the same person. Each person is unique, and therefore carries a unique set of values. Your unique purpose is to discover and fulfill your highest values. This spiritual quest to discover your purpose is the key to fulfillment.
People naturally act in accordance with their own highest values. However, if they are not aware of their own values - or if they follow another persons values - they will likely become frustrated. Awareness of your highest values is the secret of all great achievers.
When you here yourself saying, "I love to...," "I choose to...," or "I desire...," that is when you know you are in the realm of your highest values. When you take on goals that are not aligned with your highest values, then you, will most likely, experience difficulties.
Conversely, true values distinctly represent you, your unique self. To some this may look life time spent with family, listening to music, playing sports, spending time with animals, or traveling the world. Your highest values may change throughout your life - as this is often the case - but they always represent your unique self: what you are attracted to, what you seek, what you live for. Values are an internal compass, directing you towards what fulfills you and away from what feels unfulfilling. Your highest values are the activities that truly nourish your deepest self.
Only you can define your values. Only you can look into your own mind, heart, and soul and unearth what is most important to you. Surely you may find similarities between yours and others values. But usually there are nuances that distinguish your values from others. One person's values will never be quite like someone else's. If you did have the exact same values, you will be the same person. Each person is unique, and therefore carries a unique set of values. Your unique purpose is to discover and fulfill your highest values. This spiritual quest to discover your purpose is the key to fulfillment.
People naturally act in accordance with their own highest values. However, if they are not aware of their own values - or if they follow another persons values - they will likely become frustrated. Awareness of your highest values is the secret of all great achievers.
When you here yourself saying, "I love to...," "I choose to...," or "I desire...," that is when you know you are in the realm of your highest values. When you take on goals that are not aligned with your highest values, then you, will most likely, experience difficulties.
Values stem from Voids
One of the most profound things about values is how they reflect what has been perceived as absent in our lives. This entails the difficulties, hardships, challenges, obstacles, sorrows, or voids. The perception of a void sets off a powerful crave for precisely that thing. This void creates a corresponding value that motivates us to achieve what it is that we are missing. Perceived voids create values. What you perceive as missing from your life determines what you value.
Interestingly enough, this is a never-ending process. When one void is filled, another opens, creating a chain reaction to set new values. However, some voids may never be filled. The creator longing for self-expression, the mystic hungry to uncover universal secrets, the scientist eager for new knowledge - each of these people are motivated by voids. An entire lifetime may not be enough to fulfill their highest values.
Whether your values remain an essential part of who you are, or your values change throughout your life, your perceived voids determine your values - and your values shape your reality.
Interestingly enough, this is a never-ending process. When one void is filled, another opens, creating a chain reaction to set new values. However, some voids may never be filled. The creator longing for self-expression, the mystic hungry to uncover universal secrets, the scientist eager for new knowledge - each of these people are motivated by voids. An entire lifetime may not be enough to fulfill their highest values.
Whether your values remain an essential part of who you are, or your values change throughout your life, your perceived voids determine your values - and your values shape your reality.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
Mahatma Gandhi
The Power of Values
If there is something in life that you believe you would love to have - that career, relationship, or material possession - the reason you do not yet have it almost certainly means that you do not truly value it enough. There is something else that is valued more, and this is where your time, energy, money, and attention have been going, whether you acknowledge it or not. When you deeply value something, you are constantly searching for any opportunity to fulfill that value. You will do what it takes to obtain what you truly seek.
Your highest values determine your attention, retention, and intention: what you are aware of, remember, and what you act upon. In our modern world, the diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is thrown around all the time. This disorder is characterized by the difficulty of being attentive and focusing steadily. But all of us, to some degree, have ADD for the things that we do not value. On the other hand, we hyper-attend the things that we highly value. We each have the ability to filter our perception and recognize the stimuli in our environment that fulfills our highest values.
In addition, our highest values affect what we remember, creating "selective biased retention." You are, for example, much more likely to retain information that you believe will help you fulfill your values while forgetting information that does not serve your values. Our memories lead each of us to fulfill our highest values. We all know that person who says they have bad memory, yet they are able to remember the most trivial information. They most definitely poorly recollect the things that they don't yet. But for what they truly value, they have selective biased retention - the ability to choose and grasp on to the information that fulfills their true values.
Your highest values also add power to those intentions that align with your most important values. If you value health, you will make sure to eat well, even if that means giving up time somewhere else. If you want to know what you really value, look at what you make time for.
For a moment, think about the synergistic power that is created when your attention, retention, and intention are in harmony. This can create some serious power. We have all heard the story of the mother whose child was trapped under a car and was able to lift the car. Or perhaps we each have had the experience of attending a party and forgetting every strangers name besides that one attractive man or woman. Every one of us has experienced being to tired to accept an invitation to an activity and then jumping up and getting ourselves ready to the offer of another, more valued activity. What we truly value shapes our perception, memory, and actions, so that our mind, emotions, and intentions all work together to fulfill our highest values.
Your highest values determine your attention, retention, and intention: what you are aware of, remember, and what you act upon. In our modern world, the diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is thrown around all the time. This disorder is characterized by the difficulty of being attentive and focusing steadily. But all of us, to some degree, have ADD for the things that we do not value. On the other hand, we hyper-attend the things that we highly value. We each have the ability to filter our perception and recognize the stimuli in our environment that fulfills our highest values.
In addition, our highest values affect what we remember, creating "selective biased retention." You are, for example, much more likely to retain information that you believe will help you fulfill your values while forgetting information that does not serve your values. Our memories lead each of us to fulfill our highest values. We all know that person who says they have bad memory, yet they are able to remember the most trivial information. They most definitely poorly recollect the things that they don't yet. But for what they truly value, they have selective biased retention - the ability to choose and grasp on to the information that fulfills their true values.
Your highest values also add power to those intentions that align with your most important values. If you value health, you will make sure to eat well, even if that means giving up time somewhere else. If you want to know what you really value, look at what you make time for.
For a moment, think about the synergistic power that is created when your attention, retention, and intention are in harmony. This can create some serious power. We have all heard the story of the mother whose child was trapped under a car and was able to lift the car. Or perhaps we each have had the experience of attending a party and forgetting every strangers name besides that one attractive man or woman. Every one of us has experienced being to tired to accept an invitation to an activity and then jumping up and getting ourselves ready to the offer of another, more valued activity. What we truly value shapes our perception, memory, and actions, so that our mind, emotions, and intentions all work together to fulfill our highest values.
Determining Your Values Helps you achieve your goals
You can achieve anything you attempt to do when you become aware of your highest values. Finding out what you truly value increases your patience, integrity, and leadership abilities.
When you seek to achieve a goal that aligns with your values, you become patient enough to wait as long as you need. Likewise, whenever you set goals that match your values, your words, tone, and actions all add up in a clear unified purpose, strengthening your integrity. Similarly, when you pursue your highest values, your inner leader awakens, empowering your certainty and clarity, inspiring to lead others along your path.
Determining your values helps you achieve your goals by increasing your patience, integrity, and leadership. It likely that you would not achieve anything if it wasn't deeply aligned to your highest values. If there are any goals that you have achieved so far, you can be certain that it at one time reflected what you truly valued.
In contrast, consider those goals that seem beyond your grasp. Perhaps they are unrealistic or because they are not actually aligned with your greatest values. Values are extraordinarily powerful but they are not omnipotent. A certain amount of realism must be taken into consideration.
If the goal that you seek to obtain is realistic and still out of reach, consider these two options:
When you seek to achieve a goal that aligns with your values, you become patient enough to wait as long as you need. Likewise, whenever you set goals that match your values, your words, tone, and actions all add up in a clear unified purpose, strengthening your integrity. Similarly, when you pursue your highest values, your inner leader awakens, empowering your certainty and clarity, inspiring to lead others along your path.
Determining your values helps you achieve your goals by increasing your patience, integrity, and leadership. It likely that you would not achieve anything if it wasn't deeply aligned to your highest values. If there are any goals that you have achieved so far, you can be certain that it at one time reflected what you truly valued.
In contrast, consider those goals that seem beyond your grasp. Perhaps they are unrealistic or because they are not actually aligned with your greatest values. Values are extraordinarily powerful but they are not omnipotent. A certain amount of realism must be taken into consideration.
If the goal that you seek to obtain is realistic and still out of reach, consider these two options:
- Perhaps the goal you wish to achieve is more of a fantasy than a true intention. Your goal may be a remnant of something that appealed to you at a younger age, while you held on to as your values have changed. Your goal may be motivated by social idealisms and you know deep down that obtaining this goal may not genuinely fulfill you. Releasing a goal that you don't value can be an extremely rewarding experience that makes space in your life for new goals that align with what you do value.
- Find another way to align your goal to your highest value.
Your "Yes" has no power until you learn to say "No."
You can't say yes to until you have values.
Considering your values
If you wish to become aware of your values you must look at how you currently live. Consider the following questions:
By realizing your highest values, you may discover the core purposes that drive your actions and shape your life. Comprehended your deepest values is the key to understanding yourself, your purpose, and your destiny. It is also the key to creating a life that brings fulfillment.
We each have our own highest values, which we understand and express uniquely. Once you identify your values, you must then begin to align your goals to them. When your goals and values are aligned, you are able to create the life you would truly love to live. Discovering your values is the key to transforming and fulfilling your life.
- With what do you fill your home and work space?
- What occupies your time?
- What energizes you?
- Where do you spend your money?
- What do you talk and think about?
- In which areas of your life are you most organized and attentive?
- What inspires you?
- What have been your most consistent long-term goals?
- What do you love to research and explore?
By realizing your highest values, you may discover the core purposes that drive your actions and shape your life. Comprehended your deepest values is the key to understanding yourself, your purpose, and your destiny. It is also the key to creating a life that brings fulfillment.
We each have our own highest values, which we understand and express uniquely. Once you identify your values, you must then begin to align your goals to them. When your goals and values are aligned, you are able to create the life you would truly love to live. Discovering your values is the key to transforming and fulfilling your life.
Passion versus Values
The word "passion" is not synonymous with that which you value. Passion drives people to seek a state of perpetual bliss that is unobtainable even as we strive to avoid unhappiness, challenges, discomfort, or suffering, which are ultimately unavoidable. By attempting to avoid the unavoidable, suffering, you are only setting yourself up for failure. Therefore, passion is suffering. Passion refers to our animal nature, the ungoverned, out-of-control emotions that often drive us toward immediate gratification, addiction, which are not aligned with our highest values. If you choose to live by your passion, you are simply following the instincts of your animal self, manifesting lust, greed, gluttony, and addiction. Indeed, passions can become obstacles on the path to living a fulfilled and inspired life. People often seek instant gains and outer pleasures instead of embarking on the long, rewarding journey of inner fulfillment with is aligned with their highest values.
True fulfillment is characterized by following a mission, inspired by the deepest values. We each have a unique mission, as we each have unique values. Discovering your unique mission is the key to a meaningful life.
In order to make great contributions to the world, we each must dance to beat of our own unique drum, following our own inspiration. Be true to yourself, maintain your integrity, achieve your own authority, and find the fulfillment you inwardly seek. Most people never tap into what really inspires them. Instead, people confuse their values with social idealisms, the values of others, or their own limiting beliefs about what is possible.
Not understanding our deepest values and building a life around them increases the risk of being disempowered and overrun by other people's expectations and demands. A way to determine if you are living according to your highest values is simply by looking at your life with an honest eye. Actions speak louder than words. Our lives are constantly demonstrating what matters most to us.
If you, for example, value your health and wellness but have yet to give up smoking, then there is certainly something you value more than your health. Perhaps the act of smoking offers you a moment to relax, and you have yet to find something that relaxes you as much. It is this relaxation that you value, even though you are aware that it is deleterious for your health. Or perhaps the act of smoking is unconsciously motivated - you parents may have smoked, and smoking makes you feel close to them.
Your life never lies. What you value most will be revealed to you in your life.
Unfortunately, most people spend far too much time mindlessly neglecting our highest values, following other people's values. Some people attempt to align with familial values, or communal values, or religious values. Other attempt to accept the values of those viewed as authority figures. Often, people try to fulfill the values of many different people. This leads to a misalignment of the inner and outer self, an outer facade and inner repression which overtime takes a psychological toll. Conflicts of some kind are almost certain to arise. If this continues life will be perceived as frustrating or even daunting as true fulfillment will always seem to escape you.
True fulfillment is characterized by following a mission, inspired by the deepest values. We each have a unique mission, as we each have unique values. Discovering your unique mission is the key to a meaningful life.
In order to make great contributions to the world, we each must dance to beat of our own unique drum, following our own inspiration. Be true to yourself, maintain your integrity, achieve your own authority, and find the fulfillment you inwardly seek. Most people never tap into what really inspires them. Instead, people confuse their values with social idealisms, the values of others, or their own limiting beliefs about what is possible.
Not understanding our deepest values and building a life around them increases the risk of being disempowered and overrun by other people's expectations and demands. A way to determine if you are living according to your highest values is simply by looking at your life with an honest eye. Actions speak louder than words. Our lives are constantly demonstrating what matters most to us.
If you, for example, value your health and wellness but have yet to give up smoking, then there is certainly something you value more than your health. Perhaps the act of smoking offers you a moment to relax, and you have yet to find something that relaxes you as much. It is this relaxation that you value, even though you are aware that it is deleterious for your health. Or perhaps the act of smoking is unconsciously motivated - you parents may have smoked, and smoking makes you feel close to them.
Your life never lies. What you value most will be revealed to you in your life.
Unfortunately, most people spend far too much time mindlessly neglecting our highest values, following other people's values. Some people attempt to align with familial values, or communal values, or religious values. Other attempt to accept the values of those viewed as authority figures. Often, people try to fulfill the values of many different people. This leads to a misalignment of the inner and outer self, an outer facade and inner repression which overtime takes a psychological toll. Conflicts of some kind are almost certain to arise. If this continues life will be perceived as frustrating or even daunting as true fulfillment will always seem to escape you.
"Know Thyself."
Socrates
How to Identify Your Values
Identifying your highest values is the first step on the road to self-knowledge, self-love, and fulfillment of your life's purpose. The second step in this process is setting goals and intentions according to your highest values. Unless your goals and intentions align with your highest values, they have a slim chance of being realized.
1. Identify Social Idealisms
Write down each idea you have that expresses something you "should," "have to," or are "supposed to" do. Next to that idea, write down where this idea came from.
Here are some signs that you are living by someone else's values:
You don't need to blindly reject all of the values that you were raised with. Similarly, you shouldn't assume that all of these values are inherently yours. The key is to identify your deepest values and then consciously create an inspiring life than revolves around them. This way every day will feel like a vacation. |
2. What do you love?
What is it that you love to do? What inspires you? What do you find most meaningful in life? Where do you feel the most connected? By discovering what you love to do, you are then one step close to identifying your highest values. Complete the statement "I love to..." as many times as you can, each time identifying a different activity that you truly love.
I love to...exercise. I love to...garden. I love to...spend time with family. I love to...learn. I love to...hang out with friends. Here are some signs that you are living by your highest values:
3. Who are you?
By being aware of your highest values you discover who you are. Your values determines your identity. If you have children, and you deeply value them, then you are a parent. If you own a business, and you deeply value it, then you are an entrepreneur. If you create content, then you are an artist. If you value school, then you are a student. If you value sports, then you are an athlete. If your value is embodied in your hobby, then you are that what you do. Whatever you most value determines who you are. Discover your identity by answering the following questions:
4. How have your values evolved?
Your identity reflects your highest values. Therefore, you can expect you identity to change as your deepest values change and vice versa. What you value at one time in your life is likely to change as you enter another stage of life. Your values rarely remain stagnant. As one void is filled, a new void appears, creating a new value. Fill in the following table. If you have not yet reached a given stage of life, imagine what your highest values may be at that point:
4. Determine your values
Look at your life to see exactly which values it reveals. Follow the steps until you refine a clear hierarchy of values.
Step 1: Answer the following questions and provide three examples that are most important to you.
Step 2: Identify the answers that repeat the most often. After providing three answers to each of the questions, more than likely there will be a certain amount of repetition. You may be expressing the same kinds of values in different ways. Look at the answer that is most often repeated and indicate next to it how many times it repeats. Repeat this process for the second most frequent answer, and so on, until you have ranked every answer. This will reveal an idea of what you value most. Step 3: Summarize and prioritize your values. Based on how often your answers appear and repeat, create a list of the most important values in hierarchical order. This creates a structure that you can start building your life around and making decisions from. Step 4: Double-check your hierarchy of values To ensure that you have accurately discovered your highest values in the order or priority, consider the following questions:
Write down your final hierarchy of values. These are your highest values and they determine your daily perceptions, decisions, and actions. These values are leading you to your current destiny and are determining your life path. Step 6: Continue to reevaluate your values. Since your highest values are always evolving, it is suggested to reevaluate your values every three months. Repeat the five previous steps every three months and keep records of your evolution along your life's journey. |
"we are all faced with a series of great opportunities
brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."
Charles Swindoll
References
Demartini, J. (2013). The Values Factor. New York: Penguin.
