Choose any relationship that you’re in and imagine being together with this other person. Recollect the shared feelings and emotions present whenever you’re with them. Although you may not always agree with them, you can relate to them in some way. They have become a “you” rather than an “it.” A “We” space exists when there is mutual recognition, communication, and shared understanding. You and I experience shared feelings and visions and desires and conflicts, a vortex of love and disappointment, obligations and broken promises, the ups and downs of almost everything we call “important” in life. Right now you can feel the actual texture of those shared experiences, thoughts, insights, and emotions —this miracle called “we.”
When I encounter you, and you and I communicate, we begin resonating, sharing, and understanding each other, at least enough to exchange some sense of meaning. Two “I’s,” become a “we.” Think back to the last time you struck up an engaging conversation with a stranger. Recall how you felt before and after the interaction. When you first encountered the stranger he was an It, an object that you could see, but did not really know. Then you began talking with him, exchanging stories, picking up on each other’s emotional state, witnessing the human experience expressed in each other’s eyes. You could actually feel a new “we” coming into being. With each word, each head nod, each smile, each gesture of mutual understanding, each shared experience, the we grew stronger.
Consider the vast diversity of “We” spaces: the family we, the workplace we, the romantic we, the sports team we, the best friend we, the neighborhood community we, the meditation group we, the national we, the global we, and on and on. Notice that these shared spaces have actual felt textures, each unique. “We” spaces are so common that it’s easy to forget what an incredible miracle it is that two or more people can understand each other. In order for communication to be possible, somehow you must be able to get into my mind, and I must be able to get into yours, enough so that we are in each other to the point that we both agree that we can see what the other sees. Amazing, isn’t it?
Doesn’t it feel wonderful to be on the same wavelength with another person who truly “gets” you? This magnificent “we” forms as you and I understand each other, and love each other, and hate each other, and in so many ways feel each other’s existence as part of our own being, which indeed it is.
When I encounter you, and you and I communicate, we begin resonating, sharing, and understanding each other, at least enough to exchange some sense of meaning. Two “I’s,” become a “we.” Think back to the last time you struck up an engaging conversation with a stranger. Recall how you felt before and after the interaction. When you first encountered the stranger he was an It, an object that you could see, but did not really know. Then you began talking with him, exchanging stories, picking up on each other’s emotional state, witnessing the human experience expressed in each other’s eyes. You could actually feel a new “we” coming into being. With each word, each head nod, each smile, each gesture of mutual understanding, each shared experience, the we grew stronger.
Consider the vast diversity of “We” spaces: the family we, the workplace we, the romantic we, the sports team we, the best friend we, the neighborhood community we, the meditation group we, the national we, the global we, and on and on. Notice that these shared spaces have actual felt textures, each unique. “We” spaces are so common that it’s easy to forget what an incredible miracle it is that two or more people can understand each other. In order for communication to be possible, somehow you must be able to get into my mind, and I must be able to get into yours, enough so that we are in each other to the point that we both agree that we can see what the other sees. Amazing, isn’t it?
Doesn’t it feel wonderful to be on the same wavelength with another person who truly “gets” you? This magnificent “we” forms as you and I understand each other, and love each other, and hate each other, and in so many ways feel each other’s existence as part of our own being, which indeed it is.
References
Wilber, K., Leonard, A., Morelli, M., & Patten, T. (2008). Integral Life Practice. London: Integral Books.